Going with Praga Khan for the title of this one (yeah I like to name things after songs and/or movies).
So you know, there's just not enough mindfuckery going on in my life what with my manipulating husband and all.. now my mom's gotta get in on the deal. This isn't really unusual, esp. in cases where my mom & dad are fighting they tend to "bend the truth" to win me over to thier side of things on occasion. But she's aware of the situation with Steve & I and how hard of a time I am having and so you think the motherly thing to do would be to be supportive and give advice (perferable unbiased advice, but it is my mom so I understand it comes out one-sided some of the time). But instead this is a conversation she just had with me, because she wants me to come to Nantucket.
I like Nantucket, but only for short periods, because I get kind of bored after a while of just going to the beach day in and day out.. I don't know why. The beach is nice and its quiet, and I like quiet but too much quiet makes me antsy after a week or so (the same reason I get bored in Lancaster NH). It's like the city girl and me just feels the call of (Cthulu?) civilization after a period of time. Also there's just the fact that my mom, while meaning well tends to baby me like I'm helpless or have conversations with me like I'm her best buddy, which sometimes is okay and othertimes I just don't want to talk about shit and be left alone. I don't think it's a lot to ask, and I try to subtley hint it to her, and sometimes she doesn't get it and it makes me feel intruded on and uncomfortable, which is probably just part of my stupid Asberger's or whatever, but yeah after about 5 days with her I'm about ready to kill her. So normally I try to limit my Nantucket vacations to no more than a week. For some reason she got it in her head that because Steve and I are having issues and that she said I was welcome to do so if I wanted, that I was going to stay there for like a month. Except well I never said I was going to do that, nor would I want to.
So instead of just accepting that, she pulls out one of her over-dramatacized mind fucks:
"Well you know, Meaghan said she wants to stay with me"
"What do you mean?"
"She said it's "too noisy" at home. She says all you guys do is yell"
Ok now while I admit Megahan has quite the little vocabulary for a Two and a Half year old.. I highly doubt she actually said this. If she even came close to saying something of this nature, it is because she was lead there. For example she often repeats the last thing you said. Like if you ask her to choose between say an apple, grapes or an orange, 7 out of 10 times she will choose the orange not because it's what she actually wants, but because it was the last thing you said and her memory isn't always retaining the former two choices. So when you tell her say " Meaghan go clean your room" she will respond "Ok I go clean Meaghans room now"but will instead go off and play with toys and not clean her room even thought that's what she has just said. So in other words I can imagine this conversation starting out yes, as Meaghan telling my mom she wants to "stay with Nonna" because she likes my mom and it's someone different than me and Steve who she sees all the time. And somehow from there my mom trying to find out what the reason is for this and putting words into her mouth. Something like "why do you want to stay with me?" "I don't know.. it's too loud".
And yes our house is loud what with being on a semi-busy residential street people use to cut over from Somerville to Medford Center, not to mention our frat-party Tufts student neighbors, the guy across the street who constantly seems to be doing construction and putting up and down ladders and running saws and electric drills all day long, and ambulances which you can hear driving up and down Mystic Valley parkway ta couple blocks away, and yes Steve is loud just in general when he talks (and yeah he does yell a bit too). And my mom's house, while on Tremont Street in Boston is relatively quiet as it's well built and often the neighbors are at work or away and she usually doesn't have the windows open because she has central A/C (while we have open windows and ceiling fans which tends to bring in the noise as well).
Anyways from there I'm sure my mother lead her with the reat "why is it loud? are mommy and daddy fighting?" and meaghan being a parrot would say "yes mommy and daddy are fighting". That sort of thing.
And no I'm not denying fighting. I don't really fight except really rare occasions when I am fed up. Steve does raise his voice, pretty much daily... but no fighting and considering I tell this blog about eveything else there's no reason for me to lie about that. I sometimes do raise my voice if I've already asked Meaghan to do something a few times, and she hasn't, to get her attention and make sure she knows I am serious, but I don't think that's unusual. I mean the alternative is to let her get away with murder, and that ain't gonna happen, I can't sand spoiled brat children whose parents ignore them. My mom is just messing with me for lack of a better word. or at least making a mountain out of a molehill...
and people wonder why the fuck I can't always trust people and/or am always trying to read the "real story" behind what they are actually saying. I'm just so used to everyone in my life trying to use me for thier own purposes...
GRR ARG!