OK, really WTF?
Who is the crack-whore that decided that putting hello Kitty and a stress test together, makes any sense whatsoever?
It's cute.. therefore antithesis of stress, no?
Plus I especially like the questions which seem to be written a bit Engrish.. if you get my drift.
Weirdness
LINKY

Awesome film BTW...
Anyway not going to give too much plot away but there's a monologue towards the beginning of the film in which Juno contemplates that in High School, jocks secretly do not want to be dating the popular cheerleader but instead the introverted arty nerd-type girl (only when she says it it's much funnier than when I say it).
So I was fiddling about with Classmates.com earlier and turns out there were like some people who had left thier names on my profile (indicating thay had appearently been checking me out) and amusingly it's A) almost all men {except for 2} and B) totally not anyone from High School I even remember speaking to never mind have look me up. Certainly of the few names I recognize guys I remember being a bit cliquey and possibly even looking down on my art friends and I. So yeah really weird.
And yes Terri, I know you're totally going to ask so the people were:
Rob Crane, Patrick Heafey, William Tibert, Shawn Diaz, Todd Rembis, Steven Connolly, Matthew della Croce, Stephen Hooper
OK I do remember Rob Crane and Bill Tibert... possibly Shawn Diaz. Stephen Hooper I WAS just talking about the other day (only I couldn't remember his name). But otherwise, who the hell are these people? T, you wanna help me out, you seeem to know everyone in town? Time to break out that dusty old tome called "the yearbook" LOL!

In amusing news I was driving through Cambridge today and saw THIS TATTOO PARLOR and had to laugh. If I am ever in need of a tattoo (doubt it since I change interests too often to actually have anything permanently arted onto my body) now I know where to go!
*For those not getting the joke, my maiden name is Pino, and my dad happens to be a Frank (but certainly not anyone who wold even THINK about driving by a tattoo parlor, never mind open one), also he used to have a brother Joe*
In other *shhh... we don't tell everybody about this* news. In case you were ever wondering and didn't want to ask, YES! this famous PINO is realated to us.
As well as THIS ONE

So yeah... I know people are skeptical about things like horoscopes and numerology and tarot and those sorts of dirty old archaic and paganistic sorts of things... so laugh at me all you want but I really to think things like the phases of the moon, earthly rotation around the sun, and other forces of nature shape our paths with a lot more influence than we really give them credit for. While there's maybe no one true or exact science for figuring out how it all works, I often find that astrological imperatives tend to hold some truth, or that someone's birth name can tell you a lot about them (having known a number of people with same or similar names that tend to exhibit not only similar traits but traits that coincide with birth name charts and those sorts of things). Some of you are probably reading with the raised eyebrow... but hey I don't think it's any more strange than thinking some big bearded omniscient guy lives on a cloud and watches everything we do just to pass judgment on us when we die... so hey to each his own, right?..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Anyway with that said here was a keen little birthdates profile I found, first myself:
YOUR BIRTHDAY: 13 May (TAURUS)
Your personal ruling planets are Venus and Uranus.Somehow you may want to drastically change your life, but at the same time may fear change and want things to stay the way they are. As a result a high degree of tension and frustration may prevent you from really getting what you want.This mysterious number, 13, has been long held to indicate much upheaval and powerful transformations within its owner. There is a distinctly material vibration to your date of birth and though disappointments and setbacks are indicated taking the advice of older and more experienced people may in fact save you from a lot of future disturbances. Actually 13 is lucky as it is subruled by Sun and Jupiter.....Always keep in mind that change is the only constant thing in life.
And one for Steve:
YOUR BIRTHDAY: 18 May (TAURUS)
Your personal ruling planets are Venus and Mars.You have a tendency to steamroll everyone around you to get what you want. People sometimes regard you as aggressive which can make you a little unpopular and put you out of step with your social circle. You should control your emotions, and this will ultimately make for an easier path.Still, life to you is a battle and the combined energies of Saturn and Mars show that your quick reactions will usually get the better of you. Try a little meditation by visiting my Meditation Room.


If you want your own done, feel free to explore the link below. For what it's worth I feel both of these are pretty accurate (despite being short and vague, but that's just because they want you to pay for the real version).
http://www.astrology.com.au/366bdays/index.asp

So ironically, Comcast had some links about spouses and cheating today. I have to admit a lot of it sounds an awful lot like some stuff Steve is trying to tell me he was feeling at the time. I don't know if it's another SMF or not... but maybe he has some valid points.
I can certainly admit that I avoid conflict, become reclusive, non-responsive and emotionally void when I am upset about something.. and I do have high expectations that people should notice or confront the issue with me when I behave that way (but of course don't take it upon myself to initiate an arguement until well past my boiling point, where I then proceed to vomit about three months worth of things you have done to piss me off all over you). So as the article points out, I may have very well have made the situation much worse for myself.
Now that's not to say I'm taking all the blame, because certainly I am not. And I'm still balancing on the proverbial fence about what I do about this particular situation. I mean in the past when I was dating a person if they cheated, that was it, end of story. But obviously since I used the term "dating" I've not been in the situation were I have taken the vow of marriage or had a kid with the person, so the decision was more cut and dry.
I understand that I CAN be a very difficult person to deal with. Aside from the social inequities mentioned in the Asperger's post.. I have a bit of a moral high horse a lot of the time. I don't really drink often, nor do I smoke or do drugs, and while I won't specifically hold any of those things against anyone else, I do think I essentially become dissapointed when people lose moral control either with or without the help of additional substances.
Sometimes I can get a bit preachy even though I am not religious, esp. with a lot of heavy philosophies and stuff, about the soul and the body being it's vehicle. And for me I fully belive every word that I say, that for example, Steve says he felt like he was "missing" something when he cheated, and I don't think he meant "sex" though obviously with men they DO sometimes have that unfortunate tendency to think more with thier dicks than thier brains.
I know he meant "emotionally" because I remember not being the happiest person to be around at that time. I wasn't even sure I wanted kids (90% of them make me really uncomfortable for reasons I could never explain), I have constantly felt at a loss for what I wanted to do with my life (all I knew is I didn't want to sit around shuffling papers any more), I am still to this day searching for some sense of identity (after having tried several different cliques/subcultures/personas and finally deciding that there really isn't such a thing as a niche in which I fit, nor do I want to anymore at this point). Not to mention that ongoing battle with the parental units to stop treating me like I need to "grow up" and for them to just accept me as I am, which also causes a lot of strife in my relationships depending on the person I'm with at the time (sometimes they try to help too much, sometimes not at all.. and while I don't expect anyone to solve my problems it's always nice to have an unbiased party to deflect ideas off of until I can work out my own conclusion). I also have a really bad habit of being so empathically atttached to anyone who has meant anything in my life, that I've often heard from ex-boyfriends and such that they always feel like the love they recieve from me is always shared with a handful of other people (and this is technically true, though I would argue it's two different sorts of love). So yeah I can get that maybe he was "missing" something from me that didn't really have anything to do with a physical body (even though sometimes there was that too, as tryign to have sex when you're pregnant is a bit like what I imagine being a beached whale is like).
However my Eastern Philosopher side says that he made the tragic blunder of trying to replace a spiritual emptiness with a physical act which of course is considered "morally low". I do this too; only I fill my holes with material objects like CDs, so on the scale of things I guess it's not as not as bad. I would like to think I personally, like I do with all things, would have very carefully weighed my options and as such this kind of incident couldn't or wouldn't happen to me. He of course claims he feels badly about it, and that it hurt him a lot too, and of course my first instict is to say "bullshit" and kick his sorry ass out the door. I could say that if I had been in the same situation and doing the weighing of options of course this realization would have come to me, and would have been one of the reasons I would have stopped myself (essentially I would have thought about who I was hurting first and then how I would be hurting myself and from there move forward with the decision not to act on impulse but instead with reason). However this argument alone comes with it's own problem, that of that fact that I am expecting someone else to behave the way that I would, and no two people deal with any one situation the same way. And of course there's the argument of sure, I say I wouldn't have done it... but not having been confronted with that situation myself... it's easy to sit up here on my throne and pass out judgements.
I have not "physically" cheated on anyone that I can recall, though for certain notable relationships have ended in pursuit of someone else ("emotional" cheating). I guess I always thought maybe I was a better person because I at least broke up with people before moving on to something else, but in hindisght I can see how maybe it's just a matter of semantics.
So I don't know I guess I could just be justifying things to myself, which of course is my habit... and you know some time from now I will probably be smacking myself in the head because I'm leaving the door wide open for yet another problem or disappointment. But I'm tired of being negative and thinking everyone is going to screw me over in some way. Life's too short I guess to be worried about everything ALL THE TIME. Of course I should balance this out, because I am dangerously in the realm of being naive if I think just by thinking positively that good things will happen. but I am a beliver that some things happen for some reason, though I am desperately trying to figure out what that reasoning is. As if this whole situation wasn't enough of a sign on it's own I still feel like I'm waiting for.. something.. I just wish I knew what so I'd recognize it when I see it.
I have a good feeling I know what it is.. I just don't think that "what' knows yet about me.. so I dunno until the universe figures out it's "thing" I'll be over here fence sitting and getting by the best I can. On the plus side of all this I've been the most like "myself" than I have in years... so maybe somethign good will come out of this after all.

OK, not all of you were privy to the conversation in which I meantioned it, but I'm making a generalized post, about AS, it's symptoms... and why I think I have it.
Quoting from one of the many symptom lists I found (I would cite but I forget which one now). My Notes in PURPLE (woo)
An individual's symptoms can range from mild to severe. An individual may have all or only some of the described characteristics, and they may exhibit more problems in unstructured social settings or new situations that involve social problem-solving skills.
Social problems
Although these children may express an interest in friendships, they have difficulty in making friends and may be rejected by peers; often these children are loving and affectionate with their immediate family
I love meeting new people. I like the idea of learning a new point of view or set of interests from a new person. I jokingly call myself a "watchmaker" (but not in that creepy Sylar way) because I like to get in people's heads and find out what makes them tick. I want to know how they feel about things, how they react, everything there is to possibly know about a person, to the point at which I am sometimes intrusive or innapropriate in my queries. It's almost like an "only the strong can survive" concept, insomuch as I pretty much feel you've got to genuinely like me to put up with some of my oddness.
Socially inappropriate behavior
I often communicate in one-sided conversations (jokingly to use the tagline from "An Emperor's New Groove", "It's all about me!"). These conversations tend to be overly verbose, contain large vocabulary words, and maintained in a way where the other party has difficulty "getting a word in egdewise". I also don't know how not to make a point, once I've got one in my mind. No matter how hard I tell myself to hold back, I willl often blurt out what comes to my mind so that I "don't forget it" even if it means talking over someone else and interrupting the conversation.

Lack of understanding social cues
I don't often find myself comprehending until after the fact that my actions could be considered rude (i.e. checking my cellphone for messages when in the middle of a conversation, interrupting aconversation or talkign over another person, not makign eye contact, etc.). I don't awalys understand when someone is being sarchastic, unless they make it overly obvious.
Difficulty judging personal space
This actually started in high school. I had this really odd theory that the world would be a much better place if people would just give total strangers hugs. So I use to go to Harvard Sqaure and hug random people I had never met before. That eventually stopped, but I often find myself either being too intrusive to people I don't know well or in reverse a little too held back in situations where I really should be close. For example I have a hard time compensating for other people's grief at say a funeral. I know they are sad and I want them to feel better (I have the empathy for it) but socially I don't know exactly how to act or what to say to accomplish that so instead I kind of back-off or hide.

Difficulty understanding others' feelings
This trait I don't have. I understand people's feelings, sometimes to a fault. My problem is more on the lines of knowing what to do with that information once I have it.
Rigid social behavior due to an inability to spontaneously adapt to variations in social situations
If you're reading my other blogs, I almost don't have to answer this. Yeah I don't like change. It's like trying to pull a stubborn mule sometimes. I often joke about how I'm a Taurus born in the Year of the Ox and thatmakes me twice as resistant to change. To the point (as with the current situation) I don't even know how to change even when I know the change will be good for me. One of my worst qualities which I am slowly working to remedy (thanks to all my friends, you guys are the greatest).
Abnormal communication patterns
Awkward or inappropriate body language, including limited use of gestures and absent or inappropriate facial expressions
I am jerky, hyperactive and only with people I implicitly trust will maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds at a time (any longer feels like somehow you are inviading my soul and makes me super uncomfrotable). I fidget (without noticing it myself) to the point that it annoys other people, and often will make the weridest faces at the most inopputrune time (sticking my tongue out when someone is telling a serious story).
Unusual, formal style of speaking
Again, another one that doesn't really need much explanation if you've ever read one of my blogs or recieved an e-mail from me. I talk a lot, often like I'm writing/reciting a novel, and there are lots of huge words, internalizations (normally presented in parenthesis) and run on sentances and paragraphs.
Difficulty understanding nonliteral and implied communication
I don't really "read between" the lines too well. And when I do manage to accomplish that, I always read into the implied topic with too many variables to really understand it. For example I might imply that you don't get along with a certain person, even though you have never said that directly because you made point a in one conversationand point b in another and I then link them to come up with conclusion c. And that once having deduced that will look at why it is that you feel that way from at least three points of view (yours, the other persons and my own as an outside observer on the subject).
Impairments in the modulation of volume, intonation, inflection, rate, and rhythm of speech
I don't think I have this trait. Actually yes, yes I do now that I think about it. I am sometimes loud, esp. when I get together with friends I haven't seen in a while. I get so excited I forget to kind of curb my enthusiasm. But otherwise I would say no I don't think I do any of these other things (but then I don't really listen to my own voice from an outsider view unless I'm listening to my own answering machine message.. so maybe one of you has a better idea?)
Speech may be tangential and circumstantial, often with irrelevant comments
They don't call me the "random tangent girl" (that's my superhero name BTW) for nothing you know. Pop culture references, private jokes and general weirdness abounds whenever I talk for long periods of time, and in the end it never links up alltogether nice like it does in an Eddie Izzard skit ;-)
Conversation style characterized by marked wordiness
Idubitably! HA! That's a joke, yeah you see how I did that right? Again a bit of a repetition here, but yeah I go overboard in explaining my point and use scrabble-tastic words to prove it.
Difficulty with "give and take" of conversation
Again a bit redundant as I already cover it, but if you need proof that I do this you can totally ask Chris, Terri or Paul.
Lack of sensitivity about interrupting others
LOL, ask Terri's mom, I did this to her only last week, and didn't even realize I did it until I got home!
Activities
Intense interest in a particular, often very restricted, subject that dominates the individual's attention
If you've ever listen to me go on and on about movie plots, music history, ancient Persia, Krisha religion, or character languages.. then you know yeah I have really random, often viariable, specific interests which when I am into them I persue with a fervent endeavor, until I get distracted by something else (oooh.. shiny!)
Inflexible adherence to routines; has repetitive routines or rituals
I don't have OCD, but do have to for example take out all of my cds and re-alphabetize them before putting them away (even if only one or two cds are out of order). When I used to work I had to do my paperwork in the same order everytime, or I would get confused. These are just a few examples, but if I find something that works I don't like to mess with it. I also make really strange rules for myself, like when I used to take the train, I always thought it seemed foolish to take the train to the stop after the location you actually had to go to. I would instad get off at the previous stop and walk, even if a walk backwards from the later stop was shorter. Also for years I would take 495 to Carver for King Richard's even though it is much easier to take 93... because that was the way I knew and didn't want to deviate in fear of becoming lost.

Apprehensive about change, may have difficulty transitioning from one activity to another
Not so much this thing. I can't focus at all and will often stop in the middle of something and go on to somethign else, to the point at which I often have a number of things unfinished at any given time. (Right now I am in the middle of five books, two movies, and about three video games.. the fun part is trying not to get all the stories mixed together!).
Sensory sensitivity
Sensitivity to sound, touch, taste, light, sight, smell, pain, and/or temperature
There's an ongoing joke about my "bionic" sense of hearing and smell. I can tell you what my neighbors down the street are cooking, and the sound of even a faucet dripping in the middle of the night is like a jackhammer to me, when no one else can hear or smell those things. I do the pain/temperature thing to a lesser extreme. I sometimes don't know if its more desensitization, but when I used to work at the coffee shop I would often spill hot liquids on myself and not even be phased (including a fiasco with a stickybowl of clam chowder which gave me first degree burns but didn't hurt at all until I noticed my skin was red and swollen. I also used to entertain children in grammar school by having someone pick me up by my har and twirl me around.. that one was always a crowd pleaser. Maybe I should have become like one of those dudes you see pulling the busses or whatever (on a slightly unrealted note but just because I am talking abotu sideshow like tricks, I also used to entertain the other kids at school by swallowing rocks and coins and then regurgitating them {non-pukey})...
Sensitivity to the texture of foods
No, not so much. Though I detest the mushroom.. the whole concept of them makes me green... bleargh
Motor skill delays
History of delayed development of motor skills
The only thing I really ever had difficulty with is handwrting, toherwise I developed normally. Indcidentally the handwriting did not improve with age, I should have been an M.D.!
Visible clumsiness and poor coordination
My whole family is extremely clumsy, including me, so I always just assumed it was hereditary...
Deficits in visual-motor and visual-perceptual skills, including problems with balance, manual dexterity, handwriting, rapid movements, rhythm, and imitation of movements
Yeah I already said the handwriting thing. Though I do have crap posture if that's worth anything. I used to take dance and gymnastics, I always had a tough time with it, but I wouldn't say I was any less balanced or coordinated than most kids who try those things and don't have a propensity for it.

So yeah, as of right now I am more or less a "self-diagnosed" aspie. I have not yet gone to a prefessional as I have been trying to work out my personal drama first. I have taken two different personality tests and both have come out positive(albiet borderline) for AS. But I guess I just wanted to fill you all in what it's about and why it is I think I have it and that sort of thing.

Oooh... I feel so sick to my stomache. It's just not even remotely funny....
First I'm going to vomit profusely...
And then I am totally like running away to Antartica and not talking to anyone ever again...
Only without that second bit because yeah I'd totally miss talking to some of you...
Insert sting of expletives here.. typing them would probably be more therapudic, but I'm being lazy
I know, this post is rambling and disjointed, deal with it..
Those of you who give a shit, probably already know why
OK, over and out.. peace, bye.. etc.

I was looking up Oded "The Hotness" Fehr (that is his new official title; you must all call him that whenever you speak his name!) Like yah do (well it has something to do with Bingo... you're beter off not asking unless you want a long complicated random tangent addled explanation of the inner workings of my mind).
Anyway speaking of random tangents, I should finish my point before I start going off about the existential meaning of schmuzzies or something. I noticed for the first time today that his credits (on Wikipedia, but not anywhere else that I can find) include "victim 2" in "Hellbound: Hellraiser II".
This doesn't seem historically accurate to me as he would have been appx. 18 years old at the time the movie was released (younger during filming) and do not recall any sites mentioning him acting previous to joining the Israeli Army (18-21).
So of course now I gotta go watch the movie again (yeah like I need an excuse).
"Victim 2" seems to indicate that he is one of the people Dr. Chanard brings back to revive Juia, so I'll start at that portion of the film.
OK, here I am in the film (no not literally, I've had enough random fishooks in my skin thankssoverymuch). I've skipped over much of the first 1/2 hour (as it's mostly recap from HR) and Victim 1, is the schizophrenic guy and Victim 2 is a woman. The third victim (that we see visually victimized) is Kyle the orderly (or nurse or whatever he's supposed to be)... though by the time Kyle shows up there are already a number of bodies hanging out.
Rewinding a bit to watch the pan & scan of the other bodies, from left to right; a second woman, a middle aged bald looking dude, a corpse that's pretty unrecognizable (but looks a lot like they reused the "Frank" props from the original HR), a blonde looking mangled female (?) corpse, a really mangled (but not "Frank" looking) male corpse, a second "Frank" corpse (talk about cheaping out on special effects), and a last corpse that looks a bit like Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original)...
In a second pan & scan (when Kyle first walks in with Julia), we see from left to right; a really rottted female corpse (corpse 4 above more rotted than the first scene?), the black haired female killed in the previous scene, a mostly unrotted body of questionable gender (possibly still alive and let out the yell Kyle came to investigate?), and yet another reused "Frank" prop.
Upon further inspection during Julia & Kyles kiss/succubus scene, the female rotted corpse is not the same female rotted corpse as the 1st pan & scan, as this one has dark hair and the other blonde hair.
OK, so no dice there... moving on to Chanard's victims.. mainly in the hospital ward scene (since anyone else in between these two points are people I'm pretty sure are not being played by Oded Fehr; including Tiffany's mom, Kirsty's mom, the random baby with the sewn mouth, Chanard {turning into a cenobite}, Frank, and Julia {losing her skin again}). The only guy we see killed here looks a bit Armenian (not mind you, Israeli), and certainly not a 17-ish Oded by any stretch. After that the story takes place more or less inside the labyrinth, with Chanard attacking the cenobites, before we finally return to the institute.
There's a lot of people milling about on the floors and cots, and cetainly blood everywhere.. but hard to make out here who's really playing who, though again I would say no one resembling a 17 year old male.. more middle aged looking people. And then again we're back in the labyrinth for the final confrontation with Chanard so that pretty much ties up that section.
Quickly going back to the flashback scenes in the beginning in case there was any footage added (there was some backstory on Pinhead and Chanard, so maybe).
I'm going with nope on that as well, one woman getting brain surgery or being used as a visual aid for teaching or both, and one really wrapped up mummy looking person on a gurney (wouldn't it be ironic if that was him?).
So unless it's like a deleted scene or something, I'm going to call this myth BUSTED! (Hey Adam & Jamie I'm for hire)
P.S. Is this for real? Like it's the actual one from the movie, and he wore it? That's really cool! Someone should totally give me $1,600 and not ask any questions.. yeah

Gotta love films that have a similar a name and/or cover and/or font and/or all of the above. It's like they just know the movie is never going to be rented other than somebody who is in a hurry and grabs it mistakenly.For example the films Hellbreeder and Hellinger... both of which would be quite near if not next to Hellraiser in the horror section of your local video store. Hellbreeder's cover uses almost the exact same font, and font color as Hellraiser titles. As far as Hellinger the font is also red, but different. However the cover is graced by a rather pale looking bald headed guy (not dissimilar to Pinhead, sans the nails). Oh and look there's even a little chain hanging down behind the title!Of course both of these movies got a "don't watch ever if you know what's good for you, for the love of god!" rating on IMDB. So yeah, important safety tip, always wear your glasses when choosing horror movies.

Well since I have this Netflix on demand, and as far as I can tell it now has unlimited viewing, I'm open to suggestion. I'm still in thriller/horror movie mode so name me some of your favorites (especially if you think I haven't seen them, I've seen a lot, but certainly not all). If you happen to pick something that is a remake or has been remade, specify which year is the one you like (for example "House on Haunted Hill" 1959 vs. 1999). Right now I am kind of fighting with myself on if I really want to watch "The Quick and the Undead" or not. It sounds like it's shite, but then sometimes those are the best kind; besides it's really hard to ignore the Raimi hat-tip of the title... and well that Raimi makes a darn funny horror movie! Maybe I should just watch "Evil Dead", LOL (though that would kind of defeat the point which was to watch something I didn't already see a hundred times).

iTunes just randomly wanted me to download apple's browser software "Safari". And I gotta say as much as I keep resisting the change to apple stuff (being as I'm a gamer) I kind of really like it. For one thing it's a bit more aesthetically pleasing, in that info boxes are slightly rounded and the typesets are easier to read. But also I like how it has a built in spell checker. So that I don't have to hit a button or say type my posts out first in word and then import them into blogs or MySpace or whatever.. it's checking what I am typing RIGHT NOW in real time (and so far surprisingly considering how crappily I type most of the time, the only word it doesn't like is "Surfari"... oops, and now crappily). Definitely if I ever end up needing two computers.. I think I might get an apple.. maybe one of those uber-slick super thin notebooks or something.. keep all my music stuff on the traveling one so I can do my podcast even if I'm not at home and make my PC gaming only. Of course this would require money, and an actual need to have a laptop, not just a "I'm going to buy it on a whim because it's pretty" laptop.
[ETA] OK so after my initial excitement over nice fonts, rounded corners, and on the fly spell check. I;ve decided that Safari seriously lacks some other items I like from Internet Exporer. Mainly the ability to open more browsers within the same window (tabbing) and auto-filling info boxes.. stuff that you sort of take for granted after a while until you go and use something new. When they fix those little issues though, I'm all for it!

For those that don't subscribe to his MySpace page (go do it already). Short funny sing-a-long thing from his "Secret Standup" routine.
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=30539032
P.S. I hate to diss "The Man", but does anyone else not get the John Candy reference? I think maybe he got it muddled and meant John Goodman...

I'm watching "The Shining" (yes right now, as I type this... go Netflix on demand). And for some reason it got me thinking about S.K. stories that have similar themes.
At this particular moment it's in regards to authors with dual personalites.
For example Jack Torrence, who goes crazy and then attempts to kill his family.
This theme also occurs in "The Dark Half", the author's pen name{alter ego}comes to life and starts killing.
And finally in "Secret Window, Secret Garden" from "Four Past Minight" (the movie version was just "Secret Window" with {woo!} Johnny Depp); in which the author actually has two personalities {dissociative identity disorder}. The second of which the author believes is an entirely separate entity from himself, but later learns it has been him doing the horrible deeds the whole time (essentially he has a mental breakdown due to his wife's infidelity and the impending divorce).
Not sure if there are more as I haven't read EVERY S.K. book, please add them in the comments if you know them.
Anyways I can't decide if this is some sort of metaphor. Like is S.K. trying to say that when he writes he kind of becomes another person?
In outward appearence and demenor, what I've seen or read of him, which is often random articles at the end of "Entertainment Weekly" or smilling in the bleachers of a Red Sox game, he's more or less a normal guy, or you know as normal as you're going to be when you're constantly writing about killing people. I mean he's been married forever, and a teacher and even a little league coach, so I mean that kind of spells "normal" to me (then again... aren't most of the creepiest characters people that seem like "regular" guys and girls?)
This brings me to an unrelated side tangent regarding a story Cusraque once told me. Apparently one time (well at least one time) he was in a store and the employees were kind of eyeing him suspiciously, like they thought he was going to rob the place or something. If you don't already know what Cusraque looks like BTW, just check my friends list, he'd be the guy with the eyepatch (though he didn't have it yet at the time of the story) and the huge floppy plumed hat, and YES he ALWAYS looks like THAT (except I'd wager when he isn't wearing anything.. though the prospect of him wearing all that into the shower is pretty amusing). So yeah his point was this "Why would I rob anyone? It's not like I'm very difficult to pick out in a police lineup. It's those normal everyday weirdos you have to look out for!".
OK and now back to my point which I've more or less lost: A second opinion, is that it has something to do with writing with his previous addiction (like back in the 80s). This mostly has to do with the fact that all three authors are recovering alcoholics, and that when they begin drinking again thier darker sides come out. Also it is important to note that S.K.'s remake of "The Shining" was made partially because he felt that Kubrick's version didn't emphasize the main points of the book which were centered around the decaying family structure and the alcohol problems.
Anyways if anyone has any further input or ideas please add them (esp. you John Lees, assuming you even read my Blog, since you were the expert on the subject back in High School).
So yeah, talk about your random musings of the day...

You know, since I have a lot of random stuff to post about. Ok maybe not a lot, like two, so I exaggerate a bit...
First funny thing was Meaghan today. She was trying to use big words. The funny thing about small kids trying to use big words is they inevitably get it wrong.
The first thing she was trying to say was "crescent" because that's what her shape stick calls the moon symbol/button, even though I told her she can just say moon for now until she's older. She kept pronouncing it "present"... I'm like "no not a present, those are those things you get on your birthday and christmas with the paper and bows on it". So she thinks about it for a minute with this really introspective look on her face and then like a lightbulb goes off in her head she blurts out matter-of-factly "No! Not present, crescent!"
Later she was playing with her refrigerator magnets, which are different alphabet letters and objects starting with the letters which you insert into a little box that reads it to you. So she puts in the U shape which is a set of utensils, and it promptly tells her "U is for Utensils". So she trys to say utensils, only it comes out more like "your pencils". This time when I tried to explain the difference, she wasn't as interested. She took out the utensils shape and put in the potato shape and proudly exlaimed "Potato! Mommy say potato!". I guess she decided she wanted to be the teacher for a change, I didn't bother to tell her I already know how to say "potato" ;-)
In other news I had to fill my gas tank today. Regular unleaded (not even the good stuff) was up to $3.17. It cost me just over $40 to fill my tank!!! WTF? I really need to buy a hybrid... like yesterday. It's not even like I drive a huge car it's this puny little Mitsubishi Outlander that gets 24highway/19city miles per gallon and probably has at maximum a 12 or 14 gallon tank.. Geez...

See, this is all the Bizarro-Land weirdness that occurs whenever my best friend and I talk for intervals of more than five minutes:
[13:22] impybat27: *sigh* this Hello Kitty guitar is so freakin cute
[13:24] IshtarAndromeda: so why the random guitar-ness?
[13:29] impybat27: oh I'm looking for an electric guitar starter pack
[13:26] IshtarAndromeda: you gonna join my harmonium band?
[13:53] impybat27: I should totally get one of those keytar things and then we could freakin wail ;D
[13:54] IshtarAndromeda: what do you want to be the house band for an 80's dance part

Ok, well first off apologies to those whom I owe e-mails to, I will write on Monday or ASAP whichever comes first. I just hate using my phone myspace to write anything, since T9 sucks my ass. Right now I'm on a laptop (which is why typing doesn't suck) but it's not mine, so my time is limited.
What I did actually come here to talk about is an entertaining little duo called The Umbilical Brothers.
I'm probably way behind on this as thier kid friendly programme "The Upside Down Show" has totally been on Noggin for at least a year, it's just well I only just discovered them because Meaghan's started watching that.
Anyway the point is that they're a highly entertaining duo from Austrailia who use a mix of several different entertainment traditions. Thier bits are a combination of mime, sound effects, vaudeville, and general all around weirdness.
In addition the "Upside Down Show" also happens to be at least mildly educational, in the sense of teaching kids to use thier imaginations, and also is prety heavy on huge vocaublary words and opposites (accelereate/decelerate; horizontal/vertical; etc.)
Aside from the links above, you can also find some decent clips on YouTube with a search for either "Umbilical Brothers" or "Upside Down Show", be warned however to review UB conent before just sitting down with your kid as it's not always AS age appropriate as thier television show.

Yeah I totally don't have time to be posting today but since this will be mostly cut n' paste a quick excerpt from a numerolgogy reading I got, which if you've been keeping up with my personal life is eerily accurate and kind of creeping me out . :-)
You are what is known as a master number. The number 11 is the symbol of the spiritual seeker. Your purpose in this life time is to achieve enlightenment. Sometimes this is done by finding a teacher and other times it is a matter of experiencing an number of negative situations that are designed to rid you of toxic emotional connections and clear your karma. If you are a number eleven and seem to be having a rough time then keep in mind that is typical of your number to experience a life filled with mysterious losses and either very fortunate or unfortunate twists of fate.

Part of your trying experiences is the cosmos' way of pushing you into finding the spiritual awareness that you need to elevate your soul. The number 11 path is often called the Path of Extremist simply because you lead a life filled with so many highs and lows. You are often like two people. One life is your public life in which you might appear as an eccentric or unusual character and the other is your secret life, which is obsessed with finding the answers to eternal questions.

You are probably a fairly well educated person who is still looking for answers when it comes to spirituality. One of the character traits of a number 11 is to look far and wide for lofty spiritual answers when often the answer is right underneath your nose. As number 11's can be quite snobbish or proud of their status as a spiritual seeker the universe often presents them with many lessons that serve to challenge their pride.

You probably don't fit into society very well and have to do a lot of pretending and acting to survive in a normal job or relationship. You have unusual tastes and may have a bohemian character that is very interested in the new and avant-garde. Your broad-minded point of view and permissiveness with morals makes you lots of enemies and friends alike.

If there is one thing that your friends find frustrating about you it is that you are a bit of a fence sitter. Your ability to see so many angles of a situation often causes you to be indecisive or not to act at all. For this reason many 11's often let opportunities in life pass them by. They are so focused on being visionaries that they forget to pay attention to small practical details.

Your sharp intuition and rich understanding of both spirituality and human nature makes you the perfect spiritual counselor. Even if this is not your profession you have probably noticed that others naturally seek out your guidance and advice during a crisis.

You are a very idealistic individual and envision a world in which everyone is equal. For this reason you somewhat dislike the idea of relationships as they mean that one human should be more exclusive to you than another. One of your highest spiritual qualities is to make everyone that you meet feel like they are special and a soul mate.

If you are an 11, it is also typical for the needs of your personality to be in constant conflict with the direction of your higher self. You have probably noticed that you get away with a lot less than other numbers. For instance if you do a bad deed, the resulting bad karma seems more immediate. This is because your path is a path of retribution that is about the negation of the self to allow the higher self to be divinely inspired by a higher power.

Yeah, yeah I know I promised this like months and months ago... but as it turns out making just one comic book into a PDF is a lot harder than you think it would be. Had to download about three different programs to get it right, but finally it is here.
Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" - Brief Lives, Chapter 5

This is actually an excerpt from an e-mail I sent earlier today. As the rest of the e-mail was sent in strict confidence, I am not mentioning the name or description of the person it to whom was sent, but hopefully they will understand (since I don't feel that this section of it breaks that confidence) that I have reposted portions of it here. I am also tagging this post as "friends only" as it's at least a little bit more personal than usually intended for the en-masse anyone can read sort of audience (so if you're of my group of 56 or so, congratulations!):
"I hope you know that I was not in any way trying to push an agenda on you. I overstep my bounds a lot of the time, though I always mean it in good conscience. The way I see it, I want one thing and only one thing for anybody and everybody that is near and dear to my heart, and that is nirvana, zen.. whatever you want to call it. The ability to be truly at peace with oneself regardless of the circumstances. This is the path I have currently chosen to travel myself.. and so far I am finding it quite rewarding.
There are SOME (not all) forces beyond that which we can control that guide our course, though I don't necessarily think it's God the way that anyone has yet described it.
So it is no coincidence to me that a new friend has come into my life at the very time that someone like such a person is needed.
Now this is where the whole point about positive thinking comes into play. I re-read the very same book I recommended to you, and also the video which I recommended to you (assuming you bothered to watch it) which changed my line of thinking quite profoundly within the past two or three weeks. It's possible I shouldn't have recommended them without seeing how the long-term effects are going to be, but in the short term I have already found the wisdom and power of positive thinking to be working to my advantage. First and foremost of these events was that Steve (my husband) had the flu over the weekend. This sounds silly, but he caught it from Shannon (his mistress), I know because not a day goes by where he doesn't mention her in some manner. Also Shannon has a cyst on her ovary. It's not cancerous but it IS painful and she has to have surgery now for it. This in essence is karma... they have both gotten their just desserts for their indiscretions.. particularly Shannon whose malady inflicts the very part of her body which has committed the sin (though of course I don't intentionally wish anyone harm, regardless of how I feel they have wronged me). In addition to this, though it may not seem important, I got a ton of stuff done this weekend, probably the most motivated I have been since I got married. I scanned photos for my website, I started reading my sewing book, I made plans with Terri to possibly work on some screen print t-shirt projects together, and cleaned up the back room of my upstairs so I have someplace to do my projects and my yoga and in the process found a lot of cool, random forgotten objects that symbolized my life from before I was married. Again it may seem simple but I take it like somewhere someone is trying to tell me something (wow that's a lot of somes).
Anyways about the chakras. As you may or may know there are seven of them. This is actually the whole point behind a "bindi" the jewelry located on foreheads of Hindus, as the sixth chakra (Ajna) is the mind, and the bindi is meant to focus the power of the mind. Since this is where the wisdom and power of Kundalini energy is said to escape from, the bindi is put in place to basically keep that energy within so that one can retain a higher state of consciousness (by preventing Kundalini energy from escaping you would quite literally fill up until it could reach your seventh chakra {Sahasrara} located at the top of the head). Some people, for example the illustrious John Lennon, have natural chakra points. In John's case his was located on the sixth chakra, in the form of a mole, it's considered a sign in most Hindu and Buddhist faiths that one is a man of wisdom or truth.. a natural bindi as it were. Essentially in my opinion (non-documented) birthmarks, moles and the like are meant to be an indication of which chakras a person relies on, In John's case it was pretty much directly on the Ajna.. so there was no doubt in which area his power was focused (and no they don't tend to move about it's sort of a preset manifest). On others if they lie between two points it indicates some wisdom in both areas but not necessarily strong in either/or (for example on an aquaintence of mine... who has one on their right cheek... a point evenly distributed between the realms of the Ajna and the Vishudda (fifth chakra on the neck) indicating wisdom in learning, creativity and the ability to transform negative experience into positive learning. As for myself I have two, one located on my back approximately over where my right ovary is, indicating Swadhisthana (second chakra, related to reproductive organs) which as it's position indicates is probably the most negative of all the chakras... unconscious emotion and desire.. and is traditionally the last chakra most priests master control of. However in contrast, similarly to John Lennon, I have a much stronger chakra point at Anahata (the heart, fourth chakra) which is one of the four chakras that are able to make conscious decisions outside the bounds of karma. Quite literally "to follow one's heart" unaffected by desire (which rules the lower three chakras) just as Ajna is to "follow one's mind" and Sahasrara is to "follow one's consciousness". Therefore the strength of one, hypothetically, should be able to outweigh or overcome the other (whichever is your strongest point if you have more than one like myself). "

Ok, so it's true I haven't a clue how to play any musical instruments whatsoever (well maybe that's not exactly true since I took clarinet in 5th grade and have fiddled around with the piano one handed since I was about 7). But yet for some reason I really really want a harmonium. Don't know what I'll do with it when I get it... attempt to play it I guess. I mean I'm already doing that one handed keyboard thing already so I could probably tell my left hand to be independent long enough to push the bellows...
Either way I was wondering if anyone had a clue what a good price is. I'm sure it depends on lots of factors like what sort of wood it's made of, how many stops it has, how many keys it has, how intricate the design is, and of course if it is new or an antique. But I've seen them going anywhere from $98 to $600 and if I'm going to bother to spend money I want to make sure it's good quality without overpaying, etc. So yeah anyone got a clue or are you all reading this going "what the heck is a harmonium"? ;-)

In the land of I'm finding the most random stuff today, a poem I wrote in High School, apparently in art class as it's done with Calligraphy ink:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I THINK
I think that...
The world is a pretty ugly place.
I mean, after all...
Everybody tries to pretend they're somthing they're not,
Just to get ahead.
And do you know what else?
They pretend that they're your friend,
And then they talk about you behind your back.
This world sucks!
Do you want to know why?
Because nowadays, when someone says "I Love You",
It really means " I don't really like you at all, I just want to use you for sex. Is that okay?"
But it's not!
Do you know what else?
Everyone is high on themselves.
They don't care about anyone else,
Only about thier own well being.
Doesn't this world make you want to vomit?
I know I want to, and it's too bad.
But you probably don't care, do you?
I didn't think so!
And didn't you realize that all this time
I was trying to tell you I cared
But you didn't even notice did you?
Well you know now!
So decide, and let me know;
Don't lie either, I hate people who lie.
And don't worry, you can't make me more depressed than I already am.
But always remember,
No matter how you act, no matter how you look
I'm the only ture friend you have!
No matter what anyone else says about you,
I'll always be there.
Avec l'amour j'envoie ce lettre a toi. Et j'espere que tu eproves la meme.
T.P. 91' (earth, sun, moon)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes I know so sunny and optimistic, eh? So the story here is that at the time I had a huge crush on a friend of mine {Dave C.}. We kind of both hung with the "alternative/arts" clique, but there was this one kid in particular of the group {Dave W.} who was constantly criticising people and thier taste in things, to the point where he was often being two-faced and being nice to you in public and then would turn around and stab you in the back and make fun of you with another group of kids when you walked away. Well at least thats what the story was with Dave C.
I caught Dave W. a couple of times in this process, being nice to Dave C. when he was there and then cutting him down pretty much 24/7 the rest of the time. Obviously since I had a thing for him, it pissed me off royally, and finally one night a crowd of us were hanging at some concert they were putting on down at Phillps Academy in Andover. Dave C. had told me he was going to meet up with us, and then it got later and later and finally I called him on the phone to see what the deal was. Turns out he had decided to skip the concert and go hang with Dave W. and Co. somewhere else (I want to say someplace really lame too like the Olde Center of town whose sidewalks rolled up at 4PM, so not sure what they were going to do for fun that was better than a concert).
Needless to say, I was a "tad" pissed off, and the secret I had kind of been keeping for the oh last year or so sort of slipped out, you know in that way that things just sort of slip out when you're yelling at someone. He wouldn't believe me though, and we ended up not speaking for the rest of high school. So yeah that's the explanation of the poem.
On the brighter side of things, fast forward about 2 1/2 or 3 years, ran into Dave C. while I was working for Market Basket and apparently right after I graduated over that summer the guys totally turned on him and he ended up changing school sytems to another town and everything and apologized for not listening to me, and how he should have belived me when I said I was only looking out for him, etc. We never did end up dating or anything, but I guess it was kind of good to have that closure.
As far as my shitty French, roughly translated it says "With love I send this letter to you. And I hope you feel the same" or something of that nature (I'm a bit rusty).
The earth, sun, moon was always signed in little pictograms... it's a Love & Rockets thing (favorite album) which was my favorite band forever (1987-2000 at least).

So I was going through some boxes (I have about 15 of them full of random things that just don't have a home in my house at the moment) looking for some elusive items I want to scan for my webpage (inc. Eddie Izzard's autograph, Doug "Pinhead" Bradleys Autograph/Photo, the Pentiums photo Jakie took {because it was framed and not part of the set in my photo albums, and the photo of myself with Eddie {as it is a crap scan and I want to redo it}). Anyway the point is I found this random jewelry box full of stuff, which if I wasn't already pretty sick of scanning and uploading photos since I have been doing it all weekend long, I would have probably also taken pcitures of to go with this post.
The box contaiend the following items:
Ticket Stub from the 5/11/00 "Weird Al" Yankovic concert at the Bushnell Auditorium in Hartford, CT; signed by both Al and drummer Jon "Bermuda" Schwartz
A pair of tweezers
An old watch from High School, silver with a Native American motif
A bracelet I think terri might have given me, silver with mother of pearl inlay set like a stone
An orange bead with a black snake that coils around it. This was from a fellow classmate when I took Jewelry at the MFA School, she made beads
An elaborate button that used to belong to the front of my velvet coat
Two elaborate buttons that used to belong to the sleeve of my velvet coat
A chunky and simple brass ring, first jewelry project to teach us how to shape & sauder
A simple silver ring, nicer and more attractive than the brass, probably my second jewelry project
Another silver ring which once held a pearl, a gift from my cousin Lisa ages ago
A silver ring with a huge uncut amethyst, this was my jewelry final and up until about 2003 I wore this religiously
A faux crystal cat pin, a gift from my grandmother
A hair tie (how random considering all the other things in the box)
A small plastic bag with a black button in it
A faux silver choker with a huge blue star pendant, which I wore religiously while doing the Love & Rockets "Lift" tour promotion (except in the photo because the blue didn't go with the green camo skirt and matching makeup)
One half of a pair of rust colored earrings with random stones dangling off
One half a pair of silver drop style earrings
A penny
A gargoyle pendant holding a small hematite stone, possibly a present from Brian McGauun (unless someone remembers otherwise)
Some sort of cross pendant, most likely ordered from Design Toscano or Museum Replicas
Half a pair of faux silver loop earrings
And abstract squiggle pin
A loose white button
Half a pair of simple oriental beadwork earrings, which were worn in my second ear holes for the Gothic Prom c. 1998
A large silver kniflelike spike, once belonging to my second semester jewelry project which was a necklace with several (5 or 7) of these spikes in varying sizes

Is anyone else having this issue besides me today...
I was on the American version of MySpace earlier today when I posted my photo post. I just now tried to log in and it somehow had defaulted to MySpace Italia. Where apparently my login doesn't work.
So I try looking up MySpace through Google, figuring that it would default automatically to the US version, and I instead got the login for MySpace Canada.
Eventually I was able to get here (as you can see) by google searching MySpace a second time clicking the "international" sub-link and then picking United States from the North Americas list. But man WTF?

YES!!!!
Just got two tickets for Tues 4/29/08 Eddie Izzard gig at the Orpheum. Right Orchestra Section row QQ (basically that RC section right in front of the stage one row from the back row).. PSYCHE!!!..
Hey Lee, as well as Terri (and Bob of course) y'all should get your asses some tickets and join us! Send me an e-mail and I'll send you the fan club presale code. :-)
Do it, like now!

Forgive the spelling and grammar as I am writing from my phone; but I was just at the post office and the woman in front of me wanted to know the zip for 483 Beacon St. in Boston and it took a lot of effort for my to bite my tongue and not just yell out 02115 in the middle of the lobby. Why? Because I used to live there! I mean really what are the odds that of the whole of the entire city of Boston I would be standing behind someone sending mail to the very same building I used to live in? I almost wanted to ask her if it was going to apartment 37 but figured I would look like a creep. Besides if she had said yes I think I would have passed out!